Author Archives: maha@empoweringnow.com

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Caduceus, here I come!

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My last post – the part about “my need to give the gifts I bear may be as great as your need to receive them” – created some emotional disturbance. I ask myself: what kind of mental construction forbids me to express a need, let alone, to be aware of it or even have it? I can see that this exact veto (“it’s not polite to ask for what you want”) is the result of the Sacred Feminine being sent into exile: whether man or woman, we’ve gagged our psychic mouth and “can get no … satisfaction!”

Where I first thought that I just wanted to contribute my gifts, I am now seeing something else: the need and necessity of commerce. Commerce is primarily defined as two things: the social dealings between people and the activity of buying and selling. Could it be that’s where my passion is – to be a commerce healer? I do aspire to bridge the gap between the haves and the have-nots: those that have a vision and no money, and those that have money but no soul!

Healer, heal Thyself! I must start in healing my own wounds, which would allow for me to buy myself (be authentic)! I then would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that what I offer does bring value to those who purchase it. When that kind of certainty is in place, any creation – be it an idea, a product or a service – can only shift the buyer and the seller towards more goodness and enrich them both. Ah; the possibility of doing commerce with a conscience is so transformative that it may actually be the last vetoed need!

After all, wasn’t Hermes showing the way by being the god of communication, commerce and healing? If that need were to be “communicated” in such a way that it would be met, would the world experience a decrease in greed and an increase in perfect livelihood? That would seem to me like the end of suffering. These thoughts must be angel thoughts, as they make me very happy… How about you?

commerce


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Needy & Needy

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Today, I am sending you, World, the expression of my deep gratitude as a blessing and a healing force… Yep, expression prevails in “my” experience, whether through colors or words, and more often through both… The thing is: since there is only One of us, what is true for me is likely to be true for you!

There is another thing that has gotten my attention, and this, for what feels like a lifetime: the possibility to be in my body and really experience myself so authentically that I would have to die or expire to who I “think” I am… All those XPR words — expression, experience and expiring — combine in what I know as “the Path of XPR,” a path by which to play at the work of transformation, as children play — unabashedly!

I have nothing to sell; not even my soul! And yet, my need to give the gifts I bear may be as great as your need to receive them.. Moreover, it would be really cool to play with you… Soooo, if you’d like to receive a “personal” invitation, email me!

 

heavens

Hashamayim or “the Heavens”


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Foolish? Did you say “foolish?”

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Wow: what a Fool’s day that was… It started with getting some bodywork, as I had done something to my back. I explained the therapist where I needed help, and laid down on the table. At some point, he worked on my foot for what felt like forever. During that time, a little war was going on in my head… One voice – this of the boss – was saying: “tell him to work on your back;” the other – this of the pleaser – was answering: “I can’t, it’s just not kind;” talk about ambivalence! It was then that the silence did the speaking. As that was the only sane thing to do, I courageously spoke the truth. Three times, I asked gently yet firmly for what I needed. It was hard, but I did it (now you can understand how this woman on the picture has her mouth covered). The third time, a release like I had never had before occurred. It was like the knife of self-betrayal was taken out of my back. I breathed more freely. I blessed and forgave it all. As it happens, April’s Fool’s Day is called “Poisson d’Avril” in French, for “April’s Fish day.” This is so as students would pin a fish in the back of the one classmate they wanted to ridicule… at the exact same location where my back had been in pain for what feels like an eternity. Today is the release of an Ultimate Fool, who dares freeing the Voice from its exile. I am choosing to trust the guidance of my intuition and of my instinct. Yes, I’m going to go on trusting regardless how many self-betrayals I may experience. There is no “You” to deceive me; I am doing such a great job at it myself! Thus I will trust you, simply because I trust myself as being you. You may say that I am a Fool; that I have no memory and can’t learn from the past! Yet my trust is so becoming so pure that no one – not even me, myself nor I – can corrupt it! Rather than judging you, I choose to see the mirror as the “Me-error,” and just love me when I am with you: how foolish is that?

NV

New Vision

Poisson

“Poisson d’Avril!”


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Heat-Rest

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Today the Moon, wanting to share the gift of her own fullness, whispered in my ear: “A long time ago, out of being Full, I moved Babylonian moon goddess Ishtar to be menstruating. That led to remember the Sabattu as the day of goddess blood, or the 7th “evil day” of Ishtar. However, when  Sumerian evolved into Hebrew, Sabattu for “Heat-rest” became Shabbat, and the people totally forgot about the day of rest that the moon takes when full, for, at that time, I am neither increasing nor decreasing. Tonight may give a chance to remember Sabattu, as tonight may be THE most important Jewish holiday… Called Purim, it is only for the child at heart, as it is about telling the story of freedom, doing carnival by wearing deliberately a mask we choose to take off, and surrendering any judgment of good and bad. What mask will I put to rest, asks Fullness/Foolishness?

 

Purim


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Green “heART”

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green_moon

 

Once upon a time, a little mouse drew something unexpected. “What is it?” asked mother mouse. Little mouse answered: “It is a three-leave clover turning into FOUR. One leaf is for the Father, one for the Son, one for the Holy Ghost…” Clearly, that was a very knowledgeable little mouse… “But,” said the mother (the famous BUTT that changed the FAITH’s history), “yes, but, if you want to represent the trinity, your shamrock should only have three leaves, not FOUR!” “And what about you, mother? Wouldn’t father like to have you around?” answered the little mouse. And it is said that, on this day, the “luck” of little mouse and of her entire family changed entirely. And the more green their grass became, the more they shared their true colors with the world. They lived happily ever after, allowing any limiting BELIEF to be flexible, just from hearing the song of “BE LEAF!”


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Confluence

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Everything eventually comes to its conclusion; and so it is with my trip to France, my “return to LOVE.” I am still integrating all the gifts of what was a rich journey, that offered plenty of opportunities for an increase in Self-knowledge. One focus was certainly transformation, as the first anniversary of my mother’s passing was celebrated.

death2papa_tombe

The second was confluence, a flowing together of two or more rivers. As it happens, Lyon, the city where my father lives, has two rivers, the Rhone and the Saone, coming together. Such confluence is where a new museum – the Museum of Confluence – is built. Of course, I went to visit it. This is me, on the background of the first particle accelerator…

confluence musee2 acceleration

The confluence, however, was more than geographical. It was the confluence of the two rivers as two tendencies of the soul.

Buddha

How else would I come to America, if I hadn’t experienced the sacred feminine being sent into exile and forbidden to touch the holy scriptures? This is pix from my father’s synagogue, which offers the main floor to the males and relegate the females upstairs…

synagoguesynagogue3

This journey through time, space and mind reminded me of Gen. 32:26: “I will not let you go unless you bless me…” Yes, I am bold enough to “receive” the blessings of two brothers that appeared to go apart to then find that they were actually one, reunited by LOVE. That would have to be the ultimate “confluence.”

architect Blessingfreres

 

 

 


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Tradition!

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Tradition. I can remember a time, when, no matter what I asked, the answer was always: “It is because it’s the Law!” Asking “why” was held to be the epitome of rebelliousness — the most wicked act that a child could commit against an all-loving father… None of the religious stuff made any sense to me. Yet, one thing was made abundantly clear: disobey the Law, and you’ll be severely punished! My response to that kind of senseless and brutal indoctrination was to split; sayonara! When I arrived in the US, I kissed the ground of my newly found freedom and for my newly found freedom! Little did I know that I would open to a gift in painting so sublime that it would have me commit to humility. The best way I knew how was to voluntarily immerse myself in the studies of the Hebrew scriptures: tradition! Time passes. Little by little, I “received” (the meaning of word QKabbalah) the answers to my questions, so much so that the questions disappeared. The vacant place they left is now filled by an undeniable clarity, a surprising sensitivity, and an abiding sense of Peace. I now “grok” what religion is really about: it is a recipe to be inscribed for a good life. Totally awesome! If that wasn’t enough, I get to be happy as in a fish in water: I am at home, in Lyon, France, with my father. He teaches me Torah by telling me about his practice of the Law. I share with him the practical reasons behind his practices… It is so totally cool to be with one another that way: at last, and maybe for the first time ever, there is a listening. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Totally cool! Did I say: “totally cool?” And that feels as much as LOVE as it ever did! Thank you, “God,” for giving us the gift of the Torah, that is, of the Way, the Law, the Wisdom-Teaching, and, essentially, the Song of LOVE. Moreover, thank you for allowing me/us to “receive” it!

papa


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Servant Leader

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Truly, my cup overrunneth… Why are we, why was I so afraid of LOVE, when the only thing I was to do was just to open and say “YES, I receive!” I am still in France, amazed and enamored by the kindness and the understanding that are presiding over most of the exchanges I have with my father. It surprises me, it delights me, it blows my mind away… which is actually the goal of all spiritual work! It is as if all the wounds, all the pettiness of past grudges – of being resentful because “I” didn’t get enough [fill in the blank] – have disappeared to reveal the absolute perfection of a genealogy that prepared me to do gracefully the beauty I love to do. TS Eliot says it best: “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” This is THE END, and quite a beginning: I really am meeting my father for the first time, now that my eye is no longer furnished. Speaking of which (furniture), I also came to help him do a major decluttering of all his past lives, especially the one as a husband, since we are about to celebrate the first anniversary of my mother’s death. We lightened up and minimized two bedrooms, a cellar, and a garage. He was such a trooper in this challenging process! Throughout opening a number of boxes, I discovered a poster of him in his mid-thirties, and totally fell in love with his smile. The caption reads: “This man is a future X;” a letter which, in Hebrew, invokes the archetype of Servant Leader: I am amazed, blessed beyond belief, and SO grateful for an heritage that is pure beauty… Wow: this is REALLY a “return to LOVE,” and an honoring of my father, on Earth as it is in Heaven!

papaXMLSpix


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Start spreading the news…

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I am preparing to go to France, to visit my father. Going back “home” after deliberately moving to another continent has always evoked some very deep feelings for me… This time even more so, as there is a celebration planned to honor the first anniversary of my mother’s death. Also I am an only child, the only “treasure” left to a very lonely father; heavy stuff! By the same token, I am not so unique as a child: it is likely that I have a few cosmic brothers and sisters who also feel divided about going home for Thanksgiving! Have “I” come to loving me enough to not react to the words or actions of my father, and salute the divine in my most fated human relationship: this of my parents? Have I evolved enough and took back enough of my projections that I can be totally with him while still staying with me? A line of the song New York, New York comes to mind: “If I can make it there / I’ll make it anywhere…” Yes, it is up to me, as the initiation is akin to this of a Zen student who practices meditation in the midst of the most chaotic room ever! Yesterday, I was apprehensive; today, I am grateful for the opportunity granted me – to be the wise woman who smiles at everything unconditionally, especially the scars. Moreover, it warms my heart to know that I am taking you with me, the witness of my being open to trans-form…

 

oldindianTurquoise Waters, smiling


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The Miracle of LOVE

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I have always loved words. Words, and colors. For a long time, they were my only friends, my playmates, my confidants. They were whom I turned to when I wanted comfort, or needed to renew my faith or my self-esteem. Today, it seems that everything changed. I saw the face of my Beloved, not for what it could give me, not because I asked what it could do for me, but simply because I opened my heart to the miracle of LOVE. As I received the gift that words and colors had always gave me, I also received you, my brother and sister, in a way that I may never have seen or heard you before, unconditionally, without making a demand on you for anything; just in gratitude for knowing that you are on this planet at this time, and in appreciation to have you as my friend. You are the Beloved, and together, we are One! I understand the words, not only their meaning or etymology, but essentially their sense, as I feel deep within me the lover, who once sung: “my cup overrunneth…” Yes, it overflows with the many blessings that I humbly send in all directions, to you and you and you and you and you, infinitely so…

Shallpass

Humility
Formerly, “This too shall pass…”